First and foremost, I give you praise on your excellent work with this piece. I previewed some of it in the "Newest" section of my front page, and then clicked it - I wasn't disappointed, as I generally am with the "Newest" pieces. This is truly a great piece of poetry and, if it is indeed the first good work in almost two years, even more power to it!

Secondly, I am happy to see that someone other than myself is truly looking for advanced critiques with their poetry, as I just generally see the default setting around. It makes me smile.

Finally, before I go take a peak at your gallery, I would like to say that I spotted no obvious mistakes - then again, I didn't run it through spell-check, so, I may have missed a few spelling errors.

LoL, I bet you to spell-check.net.

My gallery is empty, as this account is kind of new. I am going to upload some of my older work (or edits of older work) in the next few days.

Thanks so much for your kind word!

Huh? You bet me to spell-check.net? I would've actually copied and pasted into Microsoft Word.

I see now that your gallery was empty.

You're welcome!

I saw your links to teen spirit almost immediately (seeing as I was addicted to that song in my youth) and certainly find that they are well placed in context with the poem... The only thing I could find with is was my natural tendency to try to read the nirvana-esque lines with the song in mind, which of course made some parts not fit… Read with that out of mind however the poem flows pretty well…All in all I must say, I love poetry like this; very well done.

--
"She looked into your eyes,
And saw what lay beneath,
Don't try to save yourself,
The circle is complete"

Hold your Colour - Pendulum

That was partly my intention, as those songs tended to flow poorly sometimes too. I am glad you liked it

Well-played details, along with its message, and the suberb writing make this one an excellent piece of poetry. Praise, my friend! First one in a long time? Then it's a great comeback

With that said, I must confess something. My English knowledge is very limited, and I had to use a translator for the first two sentences (not paragraphs ) It's great to see a poem that conserves its power no matter what language is.

--
---Respect actually grows when you give it away---

I havent quite reached this stage in my life yet, so I see this as a kind of hope. I think its an excellent piece however, not just because of that, it flows well and you get all your points across strongly (at least, you do for me).
I can honestly say I can think of no way to improve this, sorry...

It was little dissapointing that you only have one deviation, hope to see more from you

--
You have four nostrils, just to let you know.

Thanks so much for your bilingual comment!

I have lots of things on my old account, which I may post later on this one

This makes sense. I think that there are alot of people who feel the passion bubbling underneath that wants to be unleashed, but are afraid that they might lose control. Hence, keeping the lights on.

This is perfect. I like it a lot!

--
Sometimes you must try;
Sometimes you just die;
But sometimes you gotta die trying!

VINCERE VER MORDI!
Victory or death!!
(Even if I must die trying, I will still prevail.)

The Wind rages yet!