We loved, we laughed
and most nights I was proud to say
that you were my girl.
But, as time passed
I became annoyed.
Small things,
the way you chew,
your loud yawn
the way you woke me
on lazy Sunday afternoons.
I was always tired with you,
I've been falling asleep for years.
Can we only be friends,
or would that be awkward?
Sharing a bed can change things,
but making one is more compelling.
There's something to folding sheets
and that crease which refuses to flatten,
leaving a ripple no matter how thick the blanket.
There's always the inconspicuous edge of the bed
from which you may take a fall;
even in moments of greatest pleasure.
I've learned that good intentions
don't always give you happiness;
and no matter how you feel,
that crease always remains.
On this page, you can:
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©2007-2009 ~ghbatt
Author's Comments
The final submission of what has been a dynamic year for me. This piece is very unique, as it is the first piece which I have worked on which has been a collaboration. The wonderfully talented Susanna Muggeridge played a large role in this piece; helping to write the final nine lines, as well as contributing many suggestions to for the other previous two stanzas which I had written. I thank her for her help, as this piece would have sat on my desk unfinished if not for her influence. She is a great poet (as well as a visual artist) on her own merit, and I suggest you swing by her page which I have linked above.
The piece sums up a lot of things, both direct as well as indirect. While the obvious meaning is obvious; I ask that you look beyond that to the emotional undertones that are present in the piece. I am very happy with this work (which is rare) but I am always looking for constructive feedback. Once again, thanks Sue ! |
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Comments
I know exactly what you mean in the second bit, and I know I'm not the only one (I say this because Joey is reading over my shoulder), about the little things in even the most amazing relationships becoming annoyances.
Especially the chewing part (which I also say because Joey is reading over my shoulder).
You should be happy with this; it has a lot of feeling and definite meaning.
Lovely =]
--
x x x
Proud member! [link]
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
x x x
happy new years
you're right sweet you are
Nice job!
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